Redirecting Children’s Behavior by Kathryn Kvols
Book Review by Jaswant Khalsa, M.Ed, Khalsa School’s Education Director
[This is a review of an excellent book that we have shared with families over the past few years. As families have found it very valuable in the past, we are posting this review here for our new-to Khalsa families.]
Especially at the beginning of the school year, teachers commonly hear, “What can I do at home to help my child be successful at school?” The answer is to learn and consistently implement parenting strategies that will encourage your child to grow in independence and responsibility (the ability to respond effectively). In other words, your goal is to, eventually, put yourself out of a job. Success at a Montessori school requires the cultivation of the same habits and traits of character that are necessary for the cultivation of success in life. Parents must learn to cultivate in their children the habits and skills of self-regulation, self-responsibility, and self-discipline. Learning to cultivate these traits in children takes learning and practice on the part of the adult.
Fortunately, there is help. One book that Khalsa School highly recommends is Redirecting Children’s Behavior by Kathryn Kvols. This is a simple-to-read, yet comprehensive compilation that is commonly recommended to parents and teachers of Montessori students. It is a condensed version of the most effective strategies for working with children. During this school year, the staff at Khalsa Montessori Primary and Elementary Schools will be reading and discussing the same book. Reading, studying, and putting into practice the book’s classic and time-tested principles is one of the most powerful tools you can use to help you be on the same page as the staff at your students’ school. For students’ optimum success, school and home must work as a team. When we work as a team, your child will be the winner. Confident and consistently effective parenting is the most powerful means to your child’s happiness and highest potential.
The principles described and explained in Redirecting Children’s Behavior are based on Rudolf Dreikurs’ classic and widely-respected book, Children the Challenge. Kvols compares and contrasts the characteristics and results of autocratic, permissive, and democratic families and will help you to see the value in becoming a democratic family. Ms. Kvols also helps parents to recognize and respond to the signs of four mistaken goals of behavior: attention, power, revenge, and avoidance.
In addition, Kathryn Kvols will help you learn to:
- parent without burnout
- teach your values
- communicate without alienating your child
- encourage without rewards
- discipline without punishment
- respect feelings without surrendering rights or boundaries
- resolve family conflicts
Redirecting Your Child’s Behavior will help you learn to teach your child how:
- To trust his/her intuition
- To get what he/she wants
- To give 100%
- To demonstrate altruistic, instead of self-centered, behavior
- To accept consequences and become responsible
- To understand limits and develop self-control
- To get along with siblings
You will also find:
- A list of possible annoying and normal behaviors for different ages
- A list (according to age) of Tasks Children Can Do to Learn Responsibility
And much more! Commit to learning to be the best parent you can be – the most difficult job in the world and the most rewarding job in the world!